All right. One thing to know about me right off the bat is… conventionality? It’s NO priority of mine. I’m a big fan of being flexible, open to what’s new, and experimenting with different ways of being.
As such, with this conventional holiday, I say… let’s make it really personal and completely authentic.
First off, I’d like to speak to those who loathe Mother’s Day because not everyone wants to celebrate it and THAT IS COMPLETELY OKAY!!! Here are some reasons some of us want to kick Mother’s Day to the curb:
1. You have a difficult relationship with your mother.
Not everyone has a loving and supportive relationship with their mother. If you’ve experienced emotional or physical abuse, neglect, or other forms of trauma from your mother, it’s completely understandable that you side eye Mother's Day. And I SUPPORT YOU. You don’t owe ANYONE an explanation for your decision. You have the right to prioritize your own mental health and well-being and I encourage you to do so with my entire heart. Myself? My relationship with my mom has been deeply complicated throughout my life, so some Mother’s Days, I acknowledge by connecting with her and on others, I don’t. On the ones I don’t, I go inward and give thanks to her for her role in bringing me into this planet. And I turn to my metta/loving kindness meditation as I hold an intention for her to be happy and free from suffering because every single one of us human beings on this incredible planet deserve that.
2. You’ve experienced the loss of a mother or never had one.
Both losing a mother and having the absence of one can be incredibly devastating experiences leaving seen and unseen marks on you for, potentially, the rest of your life. If you’ve lost your mother or if you’ve not had one in your life, you may not want to celebrate Mother's Day as painful memories and emotions can well up. It’s so important to honor your grief, dear soul, and give yourself the time and space necessary to heal. As much as you need! Grief doesn’t happen on a timeline. Maybe some years you’ll want to celebrate and some years you won’t. Listen to your gut and heart. They’ll always tell you what you need to know.
3. The commercialization of holidays gives you hives, heebie jeebies, or other highly undesirable responses.
Mother's Day has indeed become a highly commercialized holiday with companies using it as an opportunity to sell products and make profits. If you loathe commercialization of holidays, why on earth would you want to participate in the consumerism associated with Mother's Day? Don’t! You’re alllll good! I’m kind of laughing at myself right now because I’m certain you already know you can choose the time and manner of how you might want to salute how special your mom is to you and let her know what she means to you. Or not.
Whatever your reason for not wanting to celebrate Mother's Day, it can help to know you’re not alone. Many others feel the same way and choose to opt out of the holiday. If you’re feeling pressured to celebrate Mother's Day, remember that you have the right to make your own decisions and do what feels best for you. And I hope to goodness that the people around you respect this and support you.
Instead of celebrating Mother's Day, perhaps, you can use the day to focus on prioritizing your own well-being to lovingly take care of your own precious self. Consider taking a break from social media and spending time doing something that brings you joy, whether that's spending time in nature, reading a book, or making yourself some yummy goodie. Perhaps you could use the day to honor a mother figure in your life who has had a positive impact on you, such as an aunt, grandmother, or friend. Or maybe just treat it like any other day of being alive. There’s waaayyyy too much pressure in this world, so I’m a big fan of you taking healthy measures to relieve yourself of it.
For those of us who DO adore celebrating Mother’s Day, how about some out of the box kind of ideas. While traditional celebrations like brunch, flowers, and cards are indeed always appreciated, (something can better than nothing,) why not show you put a lot of lovely consideration into what might make your mom happy and switch it up this year by trying something new to make the day even more special? Here are some unique and unconventional ways to celebrate the special moms/mom figures in our lives this Mother's Day.
1. Host a Virtual Tea/Coffee/Cocktail/Mocktail Party
Gather your kith and kin (friends and family members) on a video call and host a virtual drink party to celebrate Mother's Day. Ask everyone to dress up. Perhaps decide on a fun theme. And have each person prepare their own drink and snacky snacks. Take turns sharing stories and memories of the honoree while enjoying each other's company from everyone’s own cozy, comfy homes.
2. Plan a Photo Scavenger Hunt
Create a scavenger hunt that takes your mom on a journey through her favorite places and memories. The scavenger hunt can be personalized with clues and riddles that lead to hidden surprises and precious sentimental objects. At the end of the hunt, celebrate with a family meal or dessert that YOU make.
3. Make a Family Recipe Book
Compile a collection of family recipes that have been passed down through the generations, and present it to your mom as a gift. Each family member can contribute their favorite recipe, along with a personal story or memory about the dish. Not only is this a thoughtful gift, but it's also a way to preserve family traditions and memories.
4. Create a Digital Culinary Heirloom
This has all the benefits of the family recipe book I just mentioned along with the added plus of it being a GREAT experience and the ability to share it easily. There are SO MANY fun ways to honor your mom with one of these keepsakes. Here are just a few ideas: get one done for your mom solo so she can be the star of her own cooking show; do one either by yourself or with your siblings or other family members for her; do one with her; do one with all of your family together; have her do one with one of her kith and/or kin. Whatever your choice, not only does your mom get to have a video that captures that moment for all time, but she also gets to share it with those most important to her and all those yet to come who will be connected to her. Consider going in on this with your siblings as whatever option you decide upon truly is a once in a lifetime kind of experience for your mom.
5. Take a Virtual Class Together
Sign up for a virtual class together, such as a cooking class or a painting class. It could be a one off class or one that takes place over weeks or months! I tell you what. It’d mean a lot to ME if I had something that was more than just one time. (Ahem, my childrens.) So, the gist is, you can learn a new skill together, bond over the experience, and create something special to remember. Don’t forget to take screen shots so you can have pictures of your time together!
6. Plant a Garden Together
If your mom loves gardening, spend the day planting a garden together. Whether it's a small herb garden or a full-fledged vegetable garden, it's a great way to spend quality time together and create something beautiful and useful. This also creates fabulous touch points as you monitor the growth of your garden and then get to reap what you sow both produce-wise and love-wise.
7. Have a Family Game Night
Gather the family for a fun game night. I feel I have to be clear about this for some of you beloveds… choose games that YOUR MOM enjoys, such as board games, card games, trivia games, or video games. One of my own special memories is playing Super Mario Brothers with my own kidlings. (Yes, they slaughtered me in the actual game itself, BUT NOBODY TRASH TALKS BETTER THAN MAMMA SO JUMP BACK CHILLUNS!!!!) <<deep sigh, where was I? Yes, blogging. Pro mode activated. Annnd I’m back>> Make some of your mom’s favorite snacks and drinks, and enjoy an evening of friendly (or not so friendly, lmaooooooooo) competition and family bonding.
8. Write a Gratitude Letter
Take some time to reflect on all the things you appreciate about your mom or mom figure and write a gratitude letter expressing your feelings. Get specific if you can, okay? Because that shows deep care. And, if you’d like, don’t limit it to just Mother’s Day (says a mom whose love language is words of affirmation. Aw, who am I kidding? I respond to all the love languages, but I digress.) Maybe you compile the entire list in one day and send her a message every day for every item on your list starting on Mother’s Day. You know what’s super cool about the daily message? It’s a win-win as your mom will feel appreciated and because practicing gratitude has multitudinous benefits for you!
So, there are a lot of ways to celebrate Mother's Day and show our appreciation for the special moms and mom figures in our lives or we can skip the day altogether to take good care of ourselves. Whatever you choose, it’s all a part of how we are as kith and kin. From my heart to yours.
